The plight of being married and busy

I teach classes online and one of my favorite courses is “Marriage and Family.” Just today I was telling a student the importance of spending time with one’s spouse. This is hard to do sometimes because everyone is so busy. I know there are certain weeks when I hardly talk to my husband because I have so much work to do.

Although my tight schedule lasts only a couple weeks or so, some people maintain that type of schedule all the time.  I think being too busy for one’s spouse for a long duration of time can cause tension in the marriage, but even being busy for just a little while can cause tension too.  

In February, my husband and I went to Disney World to run the Princess Weekend 5K. We decided to stay there for a few days so we can enjoy the parks. Even though I would be in the middle of teaching four classes, I thought I would be fine when we made the reservations. Usually this is not a problem, but there were two things that made this a problem— (1) since we were spending most of our time in the parks, I had very little time to work on my classes, and (2) all my classes were very large.

I would try to catch up on my work at night—answering posts, grading assignments, etc., but because of my large classes, it was hard to catch up with the few hours I had at night. After a couple nights of not being able to fully catch up with my classes, and feeling my work “snowballing,” I just cried. I felt so much pressure. I wanted to spend time with my husband but I also had work I had to do. This caused tension for us—my husband thought that the time we had would be like a “second honeymoon,” but it wasn’t.

What I learned from that experience is that when I spend time with my husband, I need to set aside all other things— I need to “clear my calendar.” When we went to Disney World, I should not have accepted any teaching assignments that would overlap into our “mini-vacation.”  

Our big vacation is coming up in October, and even though I could use the money from a teaching assignment, I am determined to decline any offers if they fall on my scheduled vacation.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 & 7 says, “Enjoy life with your wife [or husband], whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun… Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do” (NIV).

I want to spend uninterrupted time with my husband and enjoy getting to know him again. I am very much looking forward to October!

Copyright © 2013 Dr. M. Teresa Trascritti